Best of 2008

Here are some of my favorite memories from 2008.

~By far, the absolute best was giving birth to Karis peacefully in our home, without drugs, and in the water. It was so many dreams come true.
~Celebrating Abbie’s first birthday with our church friends and family
~Matt getting hired at UPS…and getting promoted to management within a few months
~Our annual summer journey to New Jersey, and meeting our new nephew Evan
~Getting to know Ryan and Aura (and their three awesome kids) better, and deepening our friendship with them
~Spending a beautiful summer day at Ocean City with Derrick, Kerri, and Summer. Gosh, we miss them!
~Thanksgiving in KY with a very random gathering of church folk; have I mentioned lately how much I love our church family??
~All the family babies who were born: Evan, Dylan, Xavier, Leandro, Mia, and Leah and Luke (ok, last two aren’t technically family, but they’re close!)
~Nicole and Tyler’s wedding
~Getting all A’s during my first 9-credit semester of grad school
~Getting passionate about politics for the first time in my life (even though my guy lost)
~Dr. Systma’s Human Sexuality class last January, and traveling to Atlanta in April to take Basic Sex Therapy. I finally know my calling!
~Good books I’ve read (and recommend): Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, Soul Virgins (Doug Roseneau), Theology in the Context of World Christianity (Timothy Tennent), and a great article entitled A Christian View of Sex in Art by John Stuart Peck. Read these!
~Our awesome small group and spending six weeks just talking about how awesome marriage is
~Watching Abbie do the hand motions to Itsy Bitsy Spider during the Christmas Eve service
~New Year’s Eve at home with Matt and our two sleepy girls

Family of four!

Even though Abbie was extremely cranky and Karis was hungry, we were able to get some pretty good pictures at Sears today. It's so hard to believe that we're a family of four now!

My postpartum journey: Week one

Warning: graphic content. If you get queasy reading about birth and related matters, you may want to skip this entry!

Oxytocin rush.
I read in stories and heard from friends who had had natural (drug-free) births that immediately after the baby is born, the mother experiences a powerful rush of the “love hormone” oxytocin, which immediately bonds her to her baby. Let me tell you what—it’s true! Although I didn’t really recognize it until it wore off, I was on an oxytocin rush all day Tuesday. I felt so relaxed and dreamy; all was right with the world! I wasn’t even in any pain—I think I may have taken one Tylenol the whole day, and pretty much just stayed in bed with Karis all day long. Ahhh…it was heavenly!

Sitz baths.
Any new moms out there will be familiar with the experience of after-birth sitz baths. Sitting on the toilet in a bowl of warm water for 20 minutes, two to three times a day. BORING! After Abbie was born, I was so unmotivated to do sitz baths that it took me forever to heal. This time, I decided to be a little more industrious. I set up a tray table right in front of our toilet and spent my sitz bath time online or writing thank-you letters for the scholarships I received last year! It ended up being good alone time. Gross, but when you’re a mother of two children, you do what you gotta do…

Breastfeeding.
I thought it was supposed to be easier the second time. I thought that, because I knew what I was doing, it wasn’t supposed to hurt. Every La Leche League leader and breastfeeding guide says that, if the baby is positioned correctly, the mother’s nipples won’t get cracked or sore. I’d politely like to disagree. Saturday was probably the most pain I’d been in since Abbie started breastfeeding. The worst part of the pain is the persistence of the baby’s need to EAT! Two hours in-between feedings is certainly not enough time to heal, even with lanolin cream. I admit I resorted to the pacifier and the pump and bottle several times that day. Karis and I have gotten better at the whole process, but I’m still healing (slowly). On a related note, I am publicly declaring my eternal gratitude to whoever invented these.

Split pelvis?
I think I may have split my pelvis on Thursday. I’m not sure about this, but from everything I’ve read, my symptoms fit the description. Unfortunately, there’s nothing anyone can do about it. I’ve tried several different positions laying down, but pretty much I’m in constant pain. Anyone with suggestions would be very much appreciated!

Uterine infection.
Turns out, I hadn’t expelled all the…uh…membranes involved with the placenta, even though the placenta was completely intact when it was born. Weird. Anyway, it came out (blahhhhhh) on Saturday night along with a lot of retained blood (which set off another round of after-birth contractions that hurt like Hades)—one of the most terrifying experiences I’ve had lately, as I didn’t know what was going on at first. Anyway, I was already at a higher risk of infection because I lost most of the lochia (after-birth blood) before the placenta was born as opposed to after, and the retained membrane increased my risk even more. Plus, I tend to get infections rather easily in general. Not so much fun. The next night after feeling hot and body-achy, I took my temp. It was 101.4! Yikes! I immediately called my midwife and she advised I visit my doctor in the morning if my temperature was still up; she suggested that it was a uterine infection because I had no symptoms of either breast or urinary tract infection. Needless to say, between the breastfeeding pain, the split pelvis issue, and the emotional rollercoaster of expelling the retained membrane, I was at my breaking point. I was exhausted. If it was an infection, I would need antibiotics, which would increase my risk for developing thrush. Which would make breastfeeding close to unbearable. Matt and I decided to pray…he prayed that God would heal my infection and take my fever away…

Healing.
…The next morning, I took my temperature, expecting it to be elevated again. It was 97.7. I had no body aches. After a few minutes it dawned on me that God may have healed me! I was hesitant to acknowledge this thought for a few hours; after all the fever may come back…it may have just been a bug…it may just be a coincidence. (This is how I usually dismiss God’s practical interventions in my life.) When the fever didn’t come back all day long, I finally admitted to Matt that God had answered our prayer!!

It has been a good week. I am thankful that Matt was able to take off work to spend my labor-day with me and two full days after Karis was born. I’m thankful for my Mom who has been staying with us, helping us take care of Abbie and our house. I’m thankful for my beautiful baby girl who is healthy and happy. I’m thankful that I worship a God Who hears my little prayers and cares for my everyday needs.

Finally, pictures!

She's here!

Karis Rhea-Noel
was born gently at home,
in the water,
into our hands!
December 15, 2008
10:37pm
8lbs., 10oz.
21 inches

Welcome to the world, sweet baby!

Christmas card

What I'm looking forward to

First of all, let me say that I've officially never been pregnant this long before. Abbie was born at 37 weeks and 6 days, which means that I have now been pregnant 2.5 days longer than I was last time. The funny thing is, I remember being SO ready for Abbie to come starting at like 34 weeks... partially because I was working a full-time desk job that made my swelling worse and made the days draaaaaag on and on. I am so happy about how much more comfortable I am this time. It's the chiropractic, I'm telling you! (Even though I had to cancel my appointment this past Monday because Abbie's 18-month check-up overlapped my appointment time.)

But as Karis' birth draws nearer, I am starting to think of all the things about labor and birth that I'm looking forward to:

1. The possibility of having some time to myself. If my labor starts during the day while Matt is at work, I am planning to have a friend take Abbie and spend some time laboring by myself at home. As strange a plan as this may sound, I think it will help me relax and get into a good labor pattern.

2. The impulsive drive to nest! There are some small preparation projects that, because I've been focused on wrapping the semester up, I haven't been able to get to yet. I'm hoping to have a surge of energy during early labor when I can get some of these done.

3. Spending uninterrupted time with Matt, and all the back massages he's going to give me! He was an awesome co-laborer during Abbie's birth, and I'm hoping that during this birth, since we'll be at home, he'll feel even more free to really "be with" me.

4. Feeling natural labor. Strange perhaps, but true! Since my labor with Abbie was induced with pitocin (the drug of the devil!!!), my contractions were extremely (and unnaturally) uncomfortable and persistent for over six hours. Even if my natural contractions are this uncomfortable, I'll be experiencing the power of my OWN body, and will not feel afraid that I might be hurting my baby. I'm excited to experience just how strong my body is!

5. Laboring in water. Huge tub, warm water up to my neck, being weightless, being able to change positions easily....need I say more?!

6. Feeling Karis being born. Because I had an epidural with Abbie, I literally felt nothing except pressure during pushing and when she was being born. I'm sure some women would be jealous of how "well" my epidural worked, but for me it was a real disappointment. I felt disconnected from what was happening, and it seemed like I had lost all control of the situation; I never felt the "urge" to push, so instead several nurses took to coaching me. I'm really looking forward to being able to follow my own body's cues of when to push, for how long, when to back off, etc. And to feel Karis actually being born is going to be SO cool!

7. Bringing Karis up out of the water and seeing her face for the first time. Matt got to catch Abbie, I get to catch Karis!

8. The peaceful atmosphere that we'll create after the birth. Karis' umbilical cord will be left intact for a few hours after the birth (we won't cut the cord until ALL the blood has drained from it), and I will nurse her as soon as she's ready. Candace and her assistant, Amy (an RN) will do all the newborn exam procedures right there with us, and then we'll just get to BE together as a family in our own home, with no nurses rushing in an out, no postpartum room to transfer to, no drugs to recover from.

9. Living the birth story that we'll get to tell all our friends and family. I'm excited that this story is yet to be written and lived! Will labor be fast or last for days? Will my water break first? Will it be night or day? Will it snow? How will Abbie greet her baby sister? No matter what happens, I welcome this experience. I am ready.

Happy 18 month birthday, Abbie!

Today is also Abbie's 18 month birthday. It literally feels like last week that we celebrated her 1-year birthday! Here's what she can do these days:

~Run
~Go to sleep at night without a pacifier (we're still working on the nap...)
~Dance to any song she hears (swaying her upper body from side to side or spinning in a circle)
~Use a fork and spoon, as long as Matt or I load it with food first
~Walk across a parking lot holding my hand
~Put big Legos together and take them apart
~Fit some shapes into her shape-sorter (but gives up quickly if she can't find the right space!)
~Say mama, dada, puppy, baby, breakfast, juice, ball, that, Amen, up, and bed. She also has words for banana, Elmo, and Lucy
~Follow simple directions (like getting her ball, picking up her book, going to her couch, and handing something to me that she's not supposed to have
~Play with a baby doll--patting it, kissing it, hugging it
~Use sign language for drink, food, thank you, please, and all done.
~Give real kisses and hugs


Happy 18 months, Abbie!

My accomplishments today

have been many!

--FINALLY got my mop of hair that was engulfing my face cut and layered. It's still just as thick (and will be until probably 6 months postpartum), but finally managable. I do plan to get it permed again after Karis is born.
--Bought mineral make-up from my hair stylist who mixes all-natural cosmetics here in Wilmore. What can I say, I am addicted to supporting local business.
--Made chicken salad for lunch. I desperately need the protein, but I've been putting off making it since Monday.
--Enjoyed Abbie's 3 hour nap. These are becoming more and more common. Thank the Lord!
--Got the dog's nails cut.
--Went to WalMart to buy the last few supplies we need for our homebirth; all that's left on the list is a drinking water-quality garden hose. Hmm...
--And most impressively: I won a war against Anthem to cover my midwife as an in-network provider!!!!!!! This feat entailed being on the phone for a solid 3 hours (yes, that's what I did during naptime), talking to six different people at Anthem, calling all seven nurse-midwives within a 30 mile radius of my home that would be covered by Anthem to confirm that they do not in fact attend homebirths, and confirming with Anthem that, as far as my benefits are concerned, birthing at home is covered no differently from birthing in a hospital. To quote Batman Begins:

Bruce Wayne: "I'm supposed to understand all that?!"
Lucus Fox: "No. I just wanted you to know how hard it was."

Ahhh...a victorius day!

Pictures of a happy kid

Diagnosis: Pregnancy!

As could have been expected, I've been having a very difficult time getting my insurance company to cover my unconventional maternity care. When I started the authorization process back in July (when I first started seeing Candace), the information I received from BCBS seemed too good to be true: midwives are completely covered as in-network providers! Yipee! It seemed to cut-and-dried...I should have been suspicious.

Just yesterday I found out that because Candace is not a CNM, I have to request an exception for my care from her to be covered. This will be considered out-of-network, which I've deduced means that we'll be paying more and our insurance will be paying less. Between yesterday and today (in all my copious end-of-semester spare time) I've talked to about eight different employees who have all passed the buck to someone else. After all these conversations, I'm still not sure that the authorization process has officially begun. What's worse is that because I've been seeing Candace since July, I have to obtain retroactive authorization as well as authorization for future care. Gah! Obviously, they want to discourage me and make this process impossible so I just give up and pay the full amount (which will still be less than if we were to have Karis in the hospital).

Is it just me, or have you experienced major frustration when it comes to communicating with insurance companies? Don't get me wrong; I'd rather experience this kind of frustration with a private insurance company of my own choosing than have to jump through bureaucratic hoops of the sort I'm sure our new president-elect will establish in the coming years....but that's beside the point. I'm an educated person! Yet somehow the insurance jargon confounds me. I feel like I should know far more than I do, but am prevented from even understanding the basics of my coverage.

Plus, the insurance world simply doesn't appreciate unconventional maternity care. Although my plan covers CNM's, three people I spoke with required education regarding the difference between CNM's and CPM's (Candace's certification), nor will they accept the fact that there ARE no CNM's within a 30 mile radius who will attend homebirths, even if I wanted to be cared by one!

Anyway, I wanted to share a disturbing but hilariously ironic conversational interchange I had with one of the BCBS employees yesterday afternoon. This came after a long explanation of my situation and desire for my maternity care to be covered:

Employee: "Ma'ma, what is your diagnosis? Pregnancy?"
Me: (Taken-aback laugh) "Uhh...yes. That's a funny question."
Employee: (Embarrassed chuckle) "Well, I just assumed..."

Regardless of whether or not our insurance pays us back, I wouldn't have traded Candace's midwifery care for a traditional ob's "care" for anything. I've felt so confident and calm throughout this pregnancy because I have been cared for by a professional who is accessible, knows me, has taken the time to listen to my dreams for this birth, and has exceptional expertise and experience. This is worth almost any price...although I'm still hoping that BCBS comes through for us!!!

Cutest kid ever

Here are some pictures of our Halloween. Enjoy!



Abbie as Abby Cadabby!





Karis went as a jack-o-lantern :-)



Our pumpkin: The Bat Signal!

Crappy.

For a few weeks now I've been in a lot of pain. My lower back, hips, and shoulders have been achy so that it hurts to walk and especially to pick Abbie up. Yoga helps for a little while, but because of my class schedule, I've only been able to go once this month. The worst is trying to sleep at night. Normally (when I'm not pregnant) I LOVE our matress. But pregnancy is a different story; no matter how many support pillows I use, and no matter which position I try, I wake up in pain.

So I decided to try chiropractic for the first time in my life. Heck, it couldn't hurt, right? I had to wait a week and a half to see the doctor, so I was really looking forward to my appointment yesterday afternoon (even though I had to bring Abbie with me, and I wasn't sure how she would do). The appointment itself went great! I liked the doctor and felt confident that she knew what she was doing. The most bizarre feeling was when she cracked my neck! I left the office feeling awesome—I could walk without looking like I was 90 years old!

The doctor warned me that things might go back to (painfully) normal shortly after the adjustment since it was my first time and my body wasn’t used to it. So we made another appointment for next week. However, she didn’t warn me about what excruciating pain I might experience as a direct RESULT of the adjustment. Not only did I feel like I got hit by a train last night (I woke up 3 times, and even 2 Advils didn’t have any effect!), but I also got a wicked cold that hit me like a bag of bricks about 2 hours after I got home. At first I thought it was just a weird coincidence (my colds never come on that fast), but my midwife told me that after an adjustment, sometimes toxins are released into your body and you have to drink a couple gallons of water to flush it all out. Ugh! Why didn’t I know this?!

Needless to say, I haven’t left the couch except to change diapers today. And I’m skipping class tonight to go to yoga to hopefully stretch out my very very sore muscles. More than anything I’m just frustrated. I have at least three more weeks (and possibly up to nine weeks or more!) before Karis would be born a full-term baby, and my school work is piling up. I have so much to do in the next few weeks, and I need energy to get it all done. Ugh.

Equally Skilled

I just wanted to share the lyrics of a song I love. It's called Equally Skilled and it's on Jon Foreman's album Fall. Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How miserable I am
I feel like a fruit picker who arrives after the harvest

There's nothing here at all
Nothing at all here that could placate my hunger

The godly people are all gone
There's not one honest soul left alive here on the planet

We're all murderers and thieves
Setting traps here for even our brothers

And both of our hands
Are equally skilled
At doing evil
Equally skilled
At bribing the judges
Equally skilled
At perverting justice
Both of our hands
Both of our hands

The day of justice comes
And is even now swiftly arriving

Don't trust anyone at all
Not your best friend or even your wife

For the son hates the father
The daughter despises even her mother

Look! Your enemies are right
Right in the room of your very household

And both of our hands
Are equally skilled
At doing evil
Equally skilled
At bribing the judges
Equally skilled
At perverting justice
Both of our hands
Both of our hands

No, don't gloat over me
For though I fall, though I fall
I will rise again
Though I sit here in darkness
The Lord, the Lord alone
He will be my light.

I will be patient as the Lord
Punishes me for the wrongs I've done against Him
After that He'll take my case
Bringing me to light and to justice
For all I have suffered

And both of His hands
Are equally skilled
At ruining evil
Equally skilled
At judging the judges
Equally skilled
At administering justice

Both of His hands
Both of His hands

Are equally skilled
At showing mercy

Equally skilled
At loving the loveless

Equally skilled
At administering justice

Both of His hands
Both of His hands

Karis!

Abbie's birth story (at long last)

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Cool things a'happening

1. It’s starting to get chilly in Kentucky! Now of course, as always, we are only flirting with Fall; there are some chilly days interspersed between 80 degree days, but we’ll take what we can get. This of course means jeans and long sleeves…and super cute fall clothes for Abbie! Since she’s walking proficiently now, clothes look even cuter on her (I was excited about her fall clothes last year, but to be honest she still looked pretty schlumpy).

2. This week marks the 30th week of my pregnancy (a.k.a. 7.5 lunar months, or ¾ of the way done). It’s so hard to believe that we’ll be meeting Karis in about 10 weeks (maybe more like 8 weeks if she follows her big sister’s example)! This is super exciting, but also a bit unnerving. We’ve already taken our one-time, two-hour couple’s labor workshop which served to jog our memories about breathing techniques, positions to labor in, and the phases of labor, but aside from that we haven’t done much as far as physical preparations for this birth. Things that helped prepare me for Abbie’s birth were taking about 15 minutes every day to relax and deep-breathe, practicing relaxation while Matt touched my arm or back with an ice pack, squatting, Kegel exercises, and walking every day. I am pretty ashamed to say that even though I know these things help, I haven’t been diligent at all in actually doing them this time. Is 10 weeks enough time? Fortunately, I have been pretty faithful with going to yoga every Saturday morning.

3. Matt and I decided that we wanted to do a 3D/4D ultrasound of Karis after all. So, I scheduled it for next Tuesday afternoon! I can’t wait to see her little face!

4. Mid-terms are already upon us. Where is this semester going?! I feel like I’m breathlessly trying to keep up with my work, but successfully for the most part. I am enjoying my classes, and I’m happy that I decided to take the 9-credit plunge this fall.

5. My mom is coming down to KY this weekend! We’re planning to make Christmas presents (in accordance with our rather tight budget this year) and just hang out. This will be my mom’s last visit before she comes to take care of Abbie while Karis is born….that’s crazy!

6. Our church family retreat is coming up in three weeks. More than ever, I am looking forward to it; the past two years have been so much fun that my expectations are definitely high! I love being in the Kentucky mountains with the awesome fall colors, drinking hot chocolate near the open fire in the lodge, chilly mornings, eating and worshipping with our church family, and snuggling with Matt at night. A bunch of the 20-somethings are going and bringing their little kids who are around Abbie’s age, and I’m really looking forward to seeing them all play together.

A political post.

I did some research this afternoon in response to a challenge by a friend. Here are the fruits of my labor :-)

He Said: I would like to discuss you dicision to vote for Sarah Palin. Number one, Sarah (if its not to formal to call her this) did not bring refom to alaska. She has gone back and forth on many policies that she signed for, Lied.
Such as the "Bridge to Nowhere". A project that the Us governmet gave the state of Alaska $422 million dolars to build. Later, when John McCain, spoke out about this, she quickly told the Government the bridge was not to be built, BUT kept the money. And people wondered why it took so long for their stimulus check to arrive?

I Said:
Bridge to Nowhere:
http://www.heritage.org/Research/Budget/wm889.cfm
(Oct. 2005 report on diverting funds to Louisiana and AK general funds)
http://blogs.tnr.com/tnr/blogs/the_plank/archive/2008/08/29/did-palin-really-fight-the-bridge-to-nowhere.aspx
(In 2005 funding was pulled for bridge; at this point, Palin opposed making AK pay for it instead)
http://www.reuters.com/article/vcCandidateFeed7/idUSN3125537020080901
(Palin’s claims to have opposed bridge are inflated)

Thoughts: It is interesting that so much controversy has been created over an issue that seems to have been mostly resolved before Palin began her tenure as governor in 2006. By October of 2005 Congress had decided to pull funding for the Bridge to Nowhere, at which point Palin spoke out against supplementing the amount given by the US government with AK taxpayer dollars to complete the project. The earmarked money collected by AK has been used to build and improve roads in other parts of the state. Collecting this money has absolutely nothing to do with any delay in the receipt of stimulus checks, as you have claimed. Stimulus checks were released according to a schedule that was published online long before the checks went out; anyone complaining that their neighbor received their check weeks before they did could have easily checked the published schedule.

He Said: Secondly, she hires shady people to work for her. One for instance that is a thief, being accused of not "being a tem player when in budgeting issues." Now this in it self implys alot, and the only viable reason for dissmal would have to be... Thieft.

I Said:
Troopergate:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/03/cbsnews_investigates/main4413750.shtml
(early report re: intentions of investigation)
http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/09/18/palin-suggests-trooper-probe-tainted-by-obsessive-partisanship/
(investigation is becoming increasingly politicized)
http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/09/17/alaska-ag-says-no-to-subpoenas/
(cooperation waning due to questionable authority of investigation)

Thoughts: No news agency has the corner on this story at this point, as the investigation is ongoing. Unfortunately, it has become increasingly tainted and politicized in the midst of the election season; whether or not the “truth will come out” before the November election is yet to be known. Palin has claimed that the official was relieved of his position due to insubordination, major disagreements, and other issues; that fact that he did not fire Palin’s former brother-in-law (who has since admitted to endangering the life of his wife and child while serving in official capacity) is only one of several reasons. The legitimacy of this claim is what the investigation originally sought to prove or disprove. If you have references regarding Palin’s hiring of “shady” characters, I’d like to see them.

He Said: Now it would seem that she had done a good job in making the income better in Alaska, but if youll look back in 2007 she took a business trip with her family. A trip that came to the grand total of $43,490. Taken for the tax payers of Alaska. That would make her a THIEF as well.

I Said:
Per Capita personal income increase during Palin’s tenure (Nov. 2006-present):
http://www.wiche.edu/Policy/FactBook/tables/tbl_58.pdf
(24,830 in 2002)
http://www.labor.state.ak.us/research/trends/nov05inc.pdf
(34,454 in 2004)
http://www.statemaster.com/graph/eco_per_inc_percap-economy-personal-income-per-capita
(35,732 in 2005)
http://ded.mo.gov/researchandplanning/indicators/wages/pi_2007.stm
(from 38,138 in 2006 to 40,352 in 2007—5.8% during tenure; 0.6% more than the US average)

Thoughts: Palin WAS successful in increasing the AK per capita income during her tenure as governor; the average increased by a greater percentage than the national average between 2006 and 2007.

$43,490 2007 travel expenses:
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/washingtonpostinvestigations/2008/09/palin_per_diem_travel_expenses.html
(Expenses not unusual; often declined meal expenses)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080909/ap_on_el_pr/palin_travel_expenses
(Expenses reduced dramatically from former admin: $93,000 in 2006))
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080909112500AA3IEcK
(Conversation re: the high expense of travel in Alaska)
http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-na-perdiem9-2008sep09,0,7637908.story
(Under state policy, par diem is allowed to be claimed for children)

Thoughts: The fact that collecting the par diem is a normative (and acceptable) practice in AK, even for family travel expenses must also be considered in the context of (1) Palin selling the governor’s jet that contributed to (2) the former governor’s extravagant travel expenses ($93,000 in 2006 alone). Within this context, Palin’s collection of a $43,490 par diem for 2007 was neither unusual nor inappropriate. Other facts to consider are (1) she lives 600 miles away from Juneau, and (2) her family members are often asked to join her on official state business trips. This amount of money was not spent on a single vacation as you have claimed; this reimbursement spanned an entire year of expenses.

He Said: If all of this doesnt scare you...
http://www.rightwingnews.com/mt331/2008/08/sarah_palin_with_a_gun_in_kuwa.php
...Should. Any person who is this "ok" with firing a gun made specifically for war, is not a person I want as a president.

I Said: Obviously, you and I have major ideological disagreements regarding the war in Iraq, which I respect. To me, this video represented the fact that not only has Sarah Palin been a member of the NRA and avid hunter for most of her life, but she has also taken an interest in what out military ACTUALLY DOES. I doubt that Obama can say that he has had any hands-on experience with military weaponry like this. This video also represents to me the fact that the US military is armed well. This may not mean very much to someone who considers shooting a military weapon to be an act of unjust aggression and murder (as you seem to—correct me if I’m misrepresenting your view of war), but to me, it means that the volunteer who make up our army are suitably armed to not only protect our country, but also to advance freedom in parts of the world in which that freedom is suppressed. This is important to me because I love our country and I want all people to have the ongoing freedom to choose who governs them. After several years of studying political philosophy, I believe that democracy, although imperfect, is the governmental structure in which this best can happen. Iraq is(surprisingly) moving more and more toward a democratic system and the people are starting to take power away from insane dictators and extremist sectarians who want to kill them. If our guns help that happen (which they have done and are doing), I say go for it. But we can debate the war at a different time. Also, let’s not forget that Palin’s son has been deployed to Iraq as of two weeks ago. She is certainly not indifferent to the concerns of military families, nor does she believe that her son is fighting a war in vain.

He Said: She wants to BUILD A WALL on the Mexico-Us border (sound like BERLIN).

I Said:
On immigration:
http://www.ontheissues.org/Sarah_Palin.htm
(tightened restrictions on illegal driver’s licenses)

Thoughts: Uh…can’t find anything on a Berlin Wall between the US and Mexico. Do you have a source for this statement? A fence/wall is already in the process of being built under the Bush administration, although I have not seen much proof of its ability to restrain illegal immigrants from crossing the border. Whatever the method, the next presidential administration needs to come up with a pretty stellar plan to restrain illegal immigration; Palin already opposed handling out drivers licensees to illegal immigrants (a really nice little liberal idea), but as far as I can see has not set out a plan of her own regarding immigration. Let’s not forget that she’s going for the VP spot; what you should be looking at is McCain’s plan on immigration if you want to oppose something. (As a side note, the Berlin Wall was built to divvy-up a country after its defeat in a world war, so as to prevent its regaining of power. A wall between the internationally-recognized national borders of the US and Mexico would be more like the Great Wall of China, built to keep out invaders from the north.)

He Said: She wants to remove sex-ed from schools, that or teach abstinence.

I Said:
On public school sex education
http://www.ontheissues.org/Sarah_Palin.htm
(opposed “explicit” sex ed. Programs, wants to give parents more control over their own child’s curriculum, “parents know best”)
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-73417
(editorial re: palin’s non-support of explicit sex ed programs)

Thoughts: Most people don’t know that public school sex education today has deep roots in a very clear historical agenda to indoctrinate Americans into a view of sexuality that is completely void of any moral boundaries. Brief history lesson: Kinsey began to conduct highly unethical research into human sexuality in the 1940’s. He subsequently founded the Kinsey Institute to conduct the research. Soon after it lost its institutional funding due to its refusal to adhere to ethical standards, but was thereafter fully funded by HUGH HEFNER, founder of Playboy (who has considered it his life mission to abolish any and all moral boundaries on sexuality and sexual practice). The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT) grew out of the Kinsey Institute, and now acts as the major certification body of sex therapists and educators in the US. In order to teach sex ed in American public schools, teachers must comply with the guidelines set out by AASECT, including their staunch disapproval of suggesting that ANY boundaries be placed around sexuality or sexual practice. This is not simply moral neutrality; this is a clear agenda to advance all sorts of sexually dangerous and immoral behavior (including, but of course not limited to, “consentual” sex between adults and children). I highly suggest that you read The Kinsey Corruption by Susan Brinkmann to gain a greater appreciation of this history. Today, the average kid in the average public school is learning not just about the maturation of their body, puberty, the physical mechanics of intercourse, and contraceptive methods, but they are being encouraged to experiment with their sexuality, and are given explicit ideas of how to do so “safely” (including, but not limited to, how to masturbate and how to give and receive oral and anal sex). When Sarah Palin opposed “explicit” sex education, THIS is what she’s talking about. While she does support abstinence education, I am not convinced that this would be the ONLY type of sex education that would be supported by McCain/Palin. As you can read, she is not opposed to contraception, but values the life of both the mother and the unborn baby, and so opposed abortion in all cases except when the mother’s life is in danger. It is clear to me that sex ed in public schools needs MAJOR reform, and I am personally not bothered by the rather extreme stance of Palin in this area.

He Said: And wants to reinstate the draft.

I Said:
On reinstating a military draft:
http://www.tooprogressive.com/2008/08/20/mccain-would-work-to-reinstate-a-military-draft/
(Where is the rest of McCain’s response?!)

Thoughts: Again, no evidence. Prove it to me.


He Said: Please, as I said, I would like to discuss this with you. Now what good do you see? I havent seen any, but thats because I dont watch CNN.

I Said: With all this being said, I am glad that you are taking this election so seriously and are challenging those who do not share your views. I am so thankful that we live in a country where we each get a vote, even if yours and mine cancel each other out.

P.S. I don't watch CNN either.

A Fresh Perspective

Last night Matt, Abbie, and I were at the mall buying shoes for her. Real shoes! Big girl shoes! Size five shoes! (“Follow them size fives!”) By the time we were ready to leave, it had begun to rain as it does only in Kentucky; the rain was misty but heavy and would soak through whatever you were wearing in a matter of seconds. Although we weren’t parked too far away, the car was far enough away that we would definitely get very wet if we had to walk to it. So my gallant husband offered to pull the car up while Abbie and I waited outside under the entrance overhang. Now, I like the rain. I just don’t like being IN the rain. While we waited, I was trying to figure out the most efficient way to get Abbie out of the stroller, into the car, pack up the stroller, and get into the car myself while getting the least soaked. Then all of a sudden, I looked down and noticed that Abbie was leaning as far forward in her stroller as she possibly could, with the hugest smile on her face, reaching out trying to touch the rain drops that were falling off the roof. So I suppressed my paranoia about the dirty roof and dirty water, and pushed her stroller out into the rain. She was ecstatic! She giggled hysterically as the drops fell on her hands and arms and probably could have played in the pouring rain for a lot longer had Matt not pulled up a few seconds later. Left to my own devices, I wouldn’t have even considered enjoying the rainy night, but seeing Abbie’s enthusiasm gave me a fresh perspective. That’s one of the best parts of being a parent—getting to see old situations through my daughter’s new eyes.

One more week

I have one more week of summer before classes start next Tuesday. As I think back on it, it's been a really good summer. I took two classes (4 more credits behindme--yay!), relaxed a lot, got to take two vacations to see family, and watched Abbie grow up sooo much. It's been so much fun watching her learn to stand on her own, stand up on her own (with toys in each hand for balance, of course!), and even start to walk! She's not a baby anymore--it's a little hard to accept. On the other hand, I am looking forward to having a new little baby in just a few months :-)

As much as I've loved this summer, I am really looking forward to starting classes next week. I'm taking Basic Christian Doctrines (Tuesday nights), which I'm expecting will give me a solid foundation in Wesleyan theology (a nice balance to my Calvinist college doctrines classes); Assessment Inventories in Counseling (Thursdays and Saturdays), and Crisis Counseling (Wednesday afternoons). I'm not that excited about Crisis, but Assessment sounds cool (in a nerdy way!). What I'm most looking forward to is the challenge of all this work during my last trimester of pregnancy. I think I can do it. I just hope Karis decides to wait until AFTER finals to be born!

Free stuff rocks!

I've gotten some pretty awesome free stuff lately, and it totally rocks! First of all, a friend from church dog- and house-sat for us for the entire week Matt and I were in Jersey. For free! Horray for awesome friends!

Second, at Mother Nurture's 2nd anniversary celebration a few weekends ago, I won a super awesome door prize: 12 one-size Bum Genius cloth diapers! Considering that the best price I could find for this quantity of diapers was over $200.00, this is a HUGE blessing! Also, these diapers keep Abbie dry, which is great because she's had mild diaper rash for a few days due to her orange juice consumption.

Third, on my way home from WalMart today, I decided to stop by Fazoli's for a few breadsticks. The drive-thru guy said it would be a few minutes because they had just put some fresh bread in to bake (no prob!!!! Even better!). When they were finally ready, the guy said "They put some extras in there for ya." I checked and saw... two extra free breadsticks! Score!

sweet kisses

Finally!

I felt the baby move for the first time last night! Wahoo!

The way it should be

Have you ever seen one of these before?

Neither had I until last night during our first prenatal appointment when Candace pulled this fetoscope out of her bag of tricks! Doesn't it look like a torture device?! When the baby gets bigger she'll use this to listen to his/her movements. We listened to the baby's heartbeat with a Doppler again and not only did we hear the heartbeat--we heard the placenta and the blood rushing through the umbilical cord! Candace explained everything we were hearing, which I really appreciated. The cord blood and the heartbeat sound very different. The cord blood is a whoosh whoosh sound, but the heartbeat actually sounds like a beat. We even heard the baby kick a few times (although I couldn't feel anything yet)--this one is feisty! When the baby finally held still, the beat was about 168--higher than last time, but that may have been because s/he was getting a workout trying to dodge the Doppler for five minutes. Candace also measured my fundal height and I was right on for 17 weeks.

We sat and talked for about and hour and a half and the best part was that this was all in our living room! I was laying on our couch listening to our baby's heartbeat--it was so relaxed and awesome! I feel so pampered having such personalized and gentle care. No rude nurses, no hospital gown, no cold plastic exam table with crinkly liners with Ortho Evra ads printed all over--just our comfy living room. We both love Candace and are even more excited for this birth after such a great visit!

Goodnight, angel

Good news on the midwife front!

We've found our midwife! It was love at first meeting :-) Her name is Candace and she's a CPM who's been practicing in central KY for nine years. She came to our house for an interview yesterday morning and we talking for over an hour! Her major emphasis is on prenatal care and building a relationship with the family that will allow her to do a "hand-off" birth--we do what we need to do; she acts as our guide. She's experienced with waterbirth, which is definitely a possibily for me; every woman I've talked to who was able to labor/birth in water says it was a great experience and really helped them relax. So besides for liking everything she had to say, it felt right. She had a very calm, strong presence and both Matt and I felt really comfortable with her.

I am getting more and more excited about this birth! A couple from church just had their baby this past weekend and Matt and I got to visit them in the hospital on Monday night. Just being in the hospital (not to mention hearing about the pitocin, the epidural, etc. etc.) made me not want to have any babies in a hospital ever again! Being there, I remembered a very strange feeling I had during our postpartum hospital stay that Abbie didn't quite belong to us. All the rules about when we could have her in our room, not being able to walk with her through the halls...I seemed like she was only half ours until we were on our way home--and then the feeling was scary and overwhelming! I can only imagine how awesome it's going to be to be at home through the whole labor and birth, and to be able to really bond with this new baby right from the very beginning. I imagine the whole experience being calm and quiet and happy. I'm so excited to feel the feeling of labor again--the rush of breaking waters, the powerful force of the contractions, the relief of finally needing to push, the baby's head crowning and finally being born! And I can't wait to ACTUALLY feel all of that this time, un-numbed! I really wonder if normal contractions are anything like pitocin contractions (which is all I experienced last time)--my guess is that they will be completely different, probably a lot more pleasant.

By the way, I'm currently reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, which is really inspiring! Ina May Gaskin is a big name in the midwifery world (she was in The Business of Being Born, which I highly recommend!) and I really like most of what she has to say. She is so respectful of women's bodies and our ability to birth our babies, which of course, I can't get enough of!

As if he wasn't elitist enough already...

Barack Obama claims that he's a man of the people, who can understand their struggles and hardships. Yet his pompus attitude and his patronizing comments (for example, of course, is his comment regarding Pennsylvanians "clinging to their guns and religion") have continued to shed a steady light on his true character throughout this campaign season.

I find it quite funny and ironic that Donatella Versace has dedicated her new spring fashion line to Obama, saying that he inspired her collection designed for "a relaxed man who doesn't need to flex muscles to show he has power." Now, the major group of the democratic party that was loyal to Hillary that Obama needs to win over are made up of white, middle class, working folks. People that have been flexing their muscles all their lives. People who have to work; who can't "relax" and wallow in their inherent "power." What does this fashion line say to them? Obama doesn't understand you--he's never worked a day in his life! Yet this line is supposed to be inspired by and honoring to him! I must admit, I'm enjoying the fact that such an honor might have such a negeative effect on his campaign!

Midwife limbo

I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is flying by. I'm already at 14.5 weeks and have had two midwife appointments already! The trouble is... Donna, our midwife, broke the news to us during our first meeting with her that she and her husband are planning on moving to South Carolina. In October. Our baby is due in December. So this is pretty bad news for us.

There are a few things you need to know about midwives. There are a few different kinds of certification. Here's agood briefing I found online:

Certified Nurse-Midwives (CNM)
Registered Nurses who have completed an additional 1-3 years of training. CNM's are required to work with a physician, they can obtain hospital privileges, and can write prescriptions. In most places, Certified Nurse Midwives attend both birth center and hospital births, in some areas they also do home births.

Certified Midwives (CM) or Certified Professional Midwives (CPM)
direct entry midwives (trained directly into midwifery without becoming a nurse first) who are certified by their state organization or through the North American Registry of Midwives. They receive their training through various methods such as appre nticeship, certifying programs or schools. Licensed Direct Entry Midwives (LDEM or LM) are Certified Midwives who have a state. They are licensed by a state board. CMs and LDEMs attend births at home. Licensing laws vary state by state.

CNM's, CPMs, LDEMs and CM's are required to pass comprehensive written and oral exams, to attend a required number of births, to have continuing education and peer review, and to practice by specific guidelines and protocols.

Direct Entry Midwives or Lay Midwives
receive their education primarily through apprenticeship with another midwife's practice or through informal schooling. Training and experience will vary among individuals. Some direct entry midwives choose not to get certified or licensed due to ph ilosophical beliefs. They attend births at home.

In Kentucky, the only midwives that can legally practice homebirths are CNM's. Unfortunately, there are a very limited number of CNM's who practice out-of-hospital, and one of them is Donna! :-( Because of this precarious situation, Matt and I have found outselves suddenly in midwife limbo. We are completely committed to planning a homebirth, so at this point it's a question of finding the right (preferably legal) midwife to work with rather than readjusting our hopes for this birth. I'm planning to call one CNM and one CPM today to set up interviews. My next prenatal appointment should be in a week and a half, and ideally I'd love to start seeing our new midwife as soon as possible.

Truthfully, I am pretty disappointed about Donna moving. She seemed to be the perfect midwife (albeit the semi-new agey stuff that I'm learning is usually inevitably linked to natural birth practices--this is so unfortunate; I wish more Christians would step up and reclaim the beautiful gift of birth that God gave us!!!); she was a CNM, had 6 years of hospital experience, had attended hundreds of homebirths, AND had attended several of my friends' homebirths. Plus, we really liked her! What a loss.

So that's where we find ourselves right now. I'll keep ya'll updated!

Family visits + new heartbeats

My mom, sister, and two nephews came to visit us last weekend. It was so much fun to see Abbie playing with her cousins--who needs babysitters with cousins around?! They definitely entertained each other and wore each other out!

On Saturday we had Abbie's big birthday party. My aunt Diane and uncle Greg came down from Cinci with my cousin's oldest boy, Ashton. He and Isaiah (who is one year younger) had a blast together. Lots of families from church came, and Abbie got so many cute clothes and toys! I was really impressed with how well she held up the whole day. I still can't believe she's one year old!!!

Today Matt's parents left Jersey and will arrive tomorrow for a weekend visit. We're really excited to see them. They've been itching to come down here since my mother-in-law finished her chemo treatments a few months ago. My sister-in-law just had her third baby--a BOY! named Evan, so they've been helping out with the two older girls. I can't wait to meet Evan when we visit Jersey later this summer!

Speaking of new babies, we heard OUR new baby's heartbeat yesterday!! It took forever to find it, but when Donna finally did it was strong and steady :-) Probably in the 140's, which adds more weight to my feeling that it's a boy... :-) It was so cool to hear the heartbeat, especially since we knew what we were listening for this time! The baby is in the exact spot Abbie was at first too--low and on the right. Pretty cool :-)

We have to change midwives, since Donna is moving out of state in October. Boo. BUT, she is referring us to a lady who's good reputation precedes her--two of our friends had a home birth with her, and have nothing but good things to say! And she's a certified nurse-midwife (CNM), which means the whole deal will be legal. Which is a good thing :-) (KY hasn't legalized all midwives yet, which a lot of activist-types around this area have major problems with. I haven't gotten that immersed in the debate yet.) I'm feeling better and better about planning a home birth, while trying to stay realistic-positive and accept that if anything goes weirdly with the pregnancy, that we won't be having the baby at home. That's ok. We can only wait it out and hope for the best! It's nice to be a little out of control once in a while, especially for me.

A great, awesome, super exhausting day!

Today was the first full day off Matt has had from UPS since he started working there in January (that wasn't sickness- or injury-related), so we wanted to make the most of it! So, as soon as we finally rolled out of bed (around 8:00), we got dressed, ate breakfast, I nursed Abbie, and we headed out to pick strawberries! There is a berry farm right here in Wilmore that opens for about three weeks early in the summer. Matt and I each picked a bucket-full in about 30 minutes, which was about 8 lbs of beautiful red berries! And they are absolutely delicious!

Then we came home, I got a shower, and we left the house again for the Children's Museum in Cincinatti. On the way we stopped at Craker Barrel :-) and Abbie and I took a short nap in the car. We got to the museum around 3:00 and had a blast! Here are some pictures from our afternoon:

Playing in a fountain

Show me the money!!!

Who's this museum for, again?

How is that ball floating?!

Birthday pics!!!

Happy Birthday, Abbie!!!

broccoli face

Abbie has been getting more ambitious with finger foods in the last few days, and her obsessive love of broccoli has never been stronger:

"Mommy want some?"

It's pretty crazy to think that, at this time last year, Matt and I were hanging out in the labor room watching Erin Brockovitch and waiting for contractions to start (which never happened), pacing the halls and finally settling in to spend the night. I'm really glad I didn't know at this time last year that Abbie still wouldn't be born for another 25.5 hours!!!

Anticipation...

ONLY 3 HOURS AND 30 MINUTES UNTIL

PRINCE CASPIAN!!!!!!!!!!!

Weekend wrap-up

I had a really good weekend :-)

Friday: Matt and I went out to Olive Garden to celebrate his promotion, my new position, and our pregnancy (why not :-) I had shrimp and the first half of the meal was great! After I ate half my meal, however, I started feeling pregnant :-( I didn't throw up, thankfully (in fact, I haven't gotten that sick at all yet), but I definitely had to stop eating. But I certainly ate my fair share of garlic bread!

Saturday: Was our six year dating anniversary! It's pretty crazy to think that Matt and I have been together for six years...and that's not even counting the first time we dated in college! (Long story...) Also on Saturday night we all went over to hang out with our friends Ryan and Aura who have three really cute kids. Leah, the youngest, is 3 months old and makes Abbie look like a giant! We had a great dinner--Aura made pasta with asparagus along with a fabulous salad of spinach, strawberries, mandarin oranges, walnuts, and her homemade dressing. WOW. We had a really good time.

Sunday: My first Mother's Day! Matt made breakfast for me--waffles, bacon, coffee and orange juice. So yummy! Unfortunately, we woke up late and had to rush through breakfast to get to church on time. He and Abbie gave me cards (his was funny, hers was sweet) and a silver charm bracelet with two charms--two hearts for our marriage, and a pair of baby booties for Abbie :-) I love it! Matt did a very good job. Also, Matt took his online final Sunday night and now is COMPLETELY DONE with his semester!!! Wahoo!!! (I have one paper and one final left.)

We're looking forward this week to seeing Prince Caspian on Friday (OPENING!) night! I bought our tickets last week. We've been waiting for this movie for three years. To prepare for the big event Matt and I are reading the book this week. So exciting!

News!

Lots has happened in the last week, so I thought I'd compile all our updates into one blog post:

Matt: Is now a part-time supervisor for UPS!!!!!!! This means more money (about twice the salary he was getting before!), more prestige, a much better work wardrobe, and more responsibility. He is psyched. As am I :-) To get promoted to supervisor after just 4 months of working as a loader is pretty phenomenal at UPS; the other supervisors were warning Matt that the paperwork might not go through until August. But he started yesterday! Unfortunately, UPS is very strict about the appearance of their management; Matt now has to wear his maroon UPS polo shirt, nice pants, nice shoes, and....... no beard. :-( Which is very sad. What's even more sad is that I didn't even get to say goodbye to my beloved beard! Matt called me on his way home from work and told me that he couldn't have started as supervisor yesterday without shaving...so he bought a Bic at a gas station and shaved in the bathroom :-( Ouch! I'm trying to be a big girl about it, but it's a big adjustment. For twice the money, though, it's definitely worth the sacrifice!

Me: I am now a research assistant!! I'm working with Dr. Virginia Todd Holeman, researching apology and repentance. Toddy's expertise has been in forgiveness research lately, and now she's turning her interests to the flip side. First I'll be reading a ton of articles on apology for a literature review which Toddy and I will write together and (hopefully) publish! During the summer we'll be designing two research studies and once they're approved by Asbury's board, we can start interviewing and collecting data in the fall. Needless to say, I am SO EXCITED about this opportunity!!!!

Abbie: Has started cruising!!! Her new favorite thing to do is stand in her pack-n-play and cruise around the perimeter while clinging on for dear life. She's also been pulling up on random objects around the living room. So she's getting dangerous now!

New Baby: Is growing fingers and toes while trying desperately to get rid of the protruding tail bone. We have also decided on names, but haven't decided whether or not to share them yet :-)

May 5th

Today is my sister-in-law Jeannie's first wedding anniversary. Congratulations, Jeannie and Doc!!!! And this is how I looked last May 5th... only 15 days before Abbie was born :-)

Planning out my life

Inevitably, at the most hectic time of every semester, I suddenly get inspired to cast off my worries about my multiple projects due during the next week, sit down with my academic catalog, and plan out the remainder of my life as a grad student. What can I say--I like lists :-) Lists and charts give me a sense of self-efficacy. When I look at a list, I get a reassured feeling that I can know what to expect--that life won't be completely random and haphazard.

I have taken on this task (yet again) this afternoon. I have planned out my course schedule for this summer (3 or 6 credits), this coming fall (9 credits), January (3 credits) and spring (9 credits), summer (7 credits) and fall 2009 (3 credit practicum and 2 credit course), and spring 2010 (3 credit practicum). Presumptuous? I think not :-) In fact, I'm very excited about the fact that I won't have a semester with more than three classes. I can handle that.

If my plan holds up, I will be graduating ATS in May, 2010. That's only two years from now!!! Granted, the program is only supposed to take 25 months...but that's assuming that the student can commit to overloaded semesters for 2 years straight. Obviously, that's not for me.

So now I'm feeling pretty confident and on-track. And now I can get back to finishing up my LAST TWO PROJECTS of the semester :-) Wahoo!

WHYYYYYY MEEEEEEEE??????

I woke up yesterday morning scratching my neck. I don't know about anyone else, but sometimes I just feel itchy in the morning. But this way different. I scratched....and my neck just itched more! When I finally went to the bathroom to look in the mirror I was surprised--the whole right side of my neck was bumpy and red.

Just wonderful.

Oh well, I figured. It's just a morning thing--it will pass. BUT it didn't. In fact, it got worse and actually spread throughout the day! Pretty soon my whole neck, my ears, my cheeks, and my hands were red and bumpy.

Still, I give whatever this was the benefit of the doubt, and hope that it goes away. Again, it doesn't! By 11:00pm it's pretty much more than I can stand. So, I take a luck-warm bath with baking soda. It feels good while I'm in the tub, but the minute I get out it starts all over again.

Boo-hoo! I ended up using an ice pack on my face so that I could at least numb the worst parts.

I called my doctor bright and early this morning, and couldn't get an appointment until 4:30. Gah. When I FINALLY saw the doctor, he said almost immediately, "Oh yeah--that's contact dermatitis. Have you been outside recently?"

My dad used to get poison ivy like twice every summer when I was little. I remember being at church picnics and he'd be covered in pink calamine lotion and looking pretty funny. I never realized it was THIS bad--and this case is mild!

Being that I'm pregnant, of course the most conservative treatment is in store. No steroids for me, unfortunately :-(

So, that's my sad story. Pray that this passes soooooon!

Commercial Break

(The following should be read in a 1940's radio announcer voice.)

BEEP BEEP-BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog reading to bring you an important message. Our very own Matthew D. Riley has recently announced the launch of his very own blog, which promises to be equally, if not more exciting and intriguing than any blog you have ever read before. We predict that in just a few months, Mr. Riley will become a household name. So don't delay. Hurry on over to http://rightfortherightreasons.blogspot.com/ today.

And now we return to your regularly scheduled reading...

My favorite part of being a mommy

During the past week or so Abbie has been waking up really upset about once per night. Out of nowhere she'll scream out and not be able to calm herself down. From what I've read, this is a symptom of separation anxiety; she wakes up in her room all alone, gets freaked out, and needs Mommy or Daddy to help her get control of her overwhelming emotions.

This scenario played itself out, once again, this morning around 3:00am. At first Matt got up to comfort Abbie while I dashed to the bathroom. But the cries kept coming. (Usually Matt can calm her down so she can go back to sleep...but not last night.) So I decided to go in and give it a go. I scooped up my little baby (who had stopped crying, but was doing the uncontrolled spastic sniffling that inevitably leads back to sobbing), pressed play to re-start her favorite sleepy time CD, and sat down on the glider. I tucked her as close to me as I possibly could and we started to play with our hands--clapping, waving... and she started to calm down. Then the most precious thing happened. She grabbed onto my fingers with both her hands and just clung on for dear life. We stayed like that for a long time. I loved holding her so close to me, feeling her soft baby skin against my cheek. She was so quiet, so still. All she needed was to know that Mommy was there. What an awesome privilege! When her eyes finally got droopy and she started to squirm, I knew she was ready to lay back down in her crib. I tucked her in, kissed her good night, and didn't hear another peep. Moments like that are my favorite part of being a mommy :-)

Big news!

Matt and I found out today officially (we pretty much already knew) that we are pregnant again!! I'm so excited; mostly because this is exactly according to plan--how many times in life can anyone say that?! About a month after Abbie was born, we decided that we wanted to try to have our kids about 18 months apart, so that would mean getting pregnant in March. And we did! It's hard to believe that both times we've wanted to get pregnant we have done so successfully, AND we've avoided pregnancy when we didn't want to get pregnant--and we did it all with a natural method! This only confirms even more to me that NFP is the best method of planning/avoiding pregnancy (I don't like to think of it as birth "control") for us, and I would totally recommend it to anyone else who is less than satisfied with hormonal or barrier methods (like we were before going natural).

How did I get on a tangent about NFP?! Oh well :-) Horray for new baby!

Some things should just remain unsaid (regardless of senility)!

I wore a dress to church this morning. I hardly ever wear dresses to church, mostly because I own hardly any dresses to wear to church. But today I pulled out a cute new dress from my closet that I bought a few months ago, thinking that it would be a good, sunny day to debut it! It's brown, pink and cream with a hippy flower pattern; it has an empire waist line, little cap sleeves, and goes down to about my knees. Very cute. Very appropriate for church. To top off this nice little look, I wore a pink and brown necklace and matching earrings, and with my fun, bouncy, newly-permed hair (which I actually styled this morning), I'd say I was lookin pretty good. Stacey and Clinton would be proud.

That is, until I made the mistake of lingering at the sugar and creamer station during coffee hour which just happened to be where Levan was also lingering. I was in a rush; "Dump some creamer into my coffee, stir in some sugar, and I can get out of here and put the screaming baby down for a nap," I thought inncocently to myself. Then out of the corner of my eye I notice Levan inching over to where I'm gussying-up my cuppa joe. Now, Levan is a nice old man. He was a Methodist pastor for a thousand years, is now retired, is a faithfully attending member of our church, leads prayer ministries for the elderly people, and makes a point of shaking hands with at least 75% of the congregation before the service starts every Sunday. So, naturally, I was expecting somethinig funny or even mildly flattering to emerge from his mouth.

Instead, with a twinkle in his eye he asks me, "Are you gaining weight?"

....uh......How do I handle this gracefully?????

Me: "Um, I hope not! (?!!!) Are you asking if I'm pregnant?"

Levan: "Well, are you?"

Me: "Umm....maybe? We don't know yet."

Levan: "Have you looked yet? Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

Me: "No; we're not sure that we're pregnant yet."

Now, granted, Matt and I are currently trying for a second baby (well, not CURRENTLY; I'm sitting at my laptop typing right NOW.... :-) but we haven't exactly make this public knowledge. And I'm sure that Levan's intentions were pure. After all, he doted over me when I was pregnant with Abbie. But all I heard was "You're obviously wearing a maternity dress. You look huge. In fact, you look big enough to be half-way through your pregnancy already! Or maybe you're just getting fat!"

So apparently my cute little sundress makes me look like a whale. I don't think I'll be wearing it again until I AM really pregnant. As for Levan, well, you can only blame so much rudeness on being old...

Thai massage parlors

I had a great experience this morning. For my birthday Matt gave me a gift certificate for an hour-long Swedish massage at the small massage parlor in Wilmore, and today I went! I loved the heated table, the sandalwood massage oil, the relaxing music and candles, and I LOVED the face and scalp massage especially! Oh, it was just wonderful. AND when I got home, Matt had washed all the dishes (my job) so the relaxing experience could just go on and on! Ahhhhhh what a great morning.

During my massage, I was thinking about the only other time I've experienced a massage...which was a much weirder situation. I was 17, staying in Bangkok [alone] for a few days before moving up to Khon Kaen for the summer. For those few days my home was the Alliance Guest House, where several other random travellers and missionaries were in-and-out. Over breakfast one morning I met a guy (who's name has escaped me) who was stopping over in Bangkok on his way from India to Sri Lanka, where he would be working as a missionary in an orphanage for the next few years. Somehow the group conversation turned to Thai massage, which everyone raved about. Unknown name guy said he wanted to get a Thai massage before leaving for Sri Lanka, but was apprehensive about the shady nature of most massage parlors in Bangkok (if you don't know, Thai massage parlors = brothels, especially when white Western men show up alone!), so would I mind going along with him? I though, "Huh! That would be cool!" so went along without another thought. (Good Lord, so many red flags go up in my head as I'm re-telling this story!!!) Once we got to a reputable-looking parlor, we went in and were met by two women--a young Thai girl, and an old, rather scary-looking woman. They set us up on two side-by-side mattresses on the floor, fully clothed, and, well, gave us massages! The old woman did mine, and it was actually pretty painful. (Thai massage is a mix of blood-displacement and yoga, and doesn't have very much to do with muscle kneading.) At the end the old woman contorted my body into some really strange yoga positions and all I remember is feeling like a beached whale, an embarrassment which was only exacerbated by the fact that I was right next to a relatively complete stranger. After the massage was all done, unknown name guy and I were both given bowls of fresh pineapple which was, by far, the best part of the experience. Then we paid (about $5 for a half hour) and were on our way! Well, actually, unknown name guy was on HIS way--he had to leave and catch a plane, so I was faced with the challenge of shopping (er...finding....) my way back to the guest house by myself. All in all, it was a very weird experience and I should probably by very thankful that I got through it unscathed!